if i can run in heels then i can drive
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just cropdusted the office
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
