So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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