you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize