the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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