she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
