Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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