Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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