If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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