I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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