some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I touched a dick in church today
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