found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
