Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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