After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
