part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
