I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Do vagina's smell?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize