Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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