...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize