I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My liver just had a heart attack.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
