it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
