Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
