Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
