u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
