thus making me awesome and them whores
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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