We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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