All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
