I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
