This house was built for laser tag.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
