before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
