You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
