I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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