HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
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