Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
kristin has been a bad kristin
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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