discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
