when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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