he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
