Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my shit smells like andre
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize