I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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