im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
