My brain says no but my pants say off.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
