You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
