My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Someone shit on the floor
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
