I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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