oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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