The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
