I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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