Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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