she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just forgot I was standing up.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
