i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize