Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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