Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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