3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
These tits shall not be calmed
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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