margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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