you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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