is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
