Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
there is glitter all over my balls
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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