My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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