Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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