You just made me feel so damn special
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize