you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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