anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
