plz talk dirty to me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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