I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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