I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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