i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
