did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize