He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this boner is exhausting
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
