i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
