She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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