She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
